Starter Marriages

READ:
Ephesians 5:22-33

Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.


You’ve likely heard of starter marriages. The trendy wisdom behind this concept is that you select a mate with the idea that you won’t stay married for long. After a few years you “trade up.”

Wow! Talk about a romance buster! So what do you trade up to? A more spacious model? A spouse with central air and a bigger backyard? A mate who comes equipped with an all-weather deck and vinyl siding?

Going into a marriage while planning to bail out of it is reprehensible to God. Jesus didn’t use people, and neither should we. Trying someone on like a pair of jeans that will soon be out of fashion is just plain wrong.

That’s a danger we have to guard against even in our more casual relationships. . . .

• Do you go out with that girl just because she looks good?

• Are you leading that guy on merely because you’re afraid to be alone?

• Are you feeding your ego by dating several people at the same time?

Jesus set an amazing example of selfless love by literally giving His life away. He paid for our sins with His life so that He could present us “to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:27).

Those words challenge us—especially men—to aspire to the same kind of love. “Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church,” Paul wrote to husbands (v.25). Treating a date as a test-drive doesn’t prepare a man for that kind of loving relationship.

Instead of approaching potential relationships with the question, “What’s in it for me?” let’s start asking, “How does God want me to give my life away?”

There’s no greater freedom than to know we’re loved unconditionally by One who has given us everything. Are we willing to love in the same way? —Tim Gustafson

REFLECTION

• How do I view my relationship with God?
• Do I approach Him only with requests? Does praising Him come easily for me?
• Do I use my friends to get what I want? What about my romantic interests? Are my relationships honoring to God?

“Selfless love” should be a redundancy.

campus journal