The Decision
By Gail Casteen

Being freed from the burden of perfectionism

At the tender age of four, I knew Jesus was who He said he was, the Son of the Living God. That, for some reason was easy to accept and believe. But as I grew up, my life was fraught with sorrow, some joy, victimization, occasional victory, loss, hints of peace, tremendous turmoil, adventure, failure and more than my share of bad choices with the resulting consequences. Though I did not question who He was, I certainly wondered why He seemed to be intimately involved in my life at times and so desperately unavailable at others.

There were times when I was a shining Christian example and other times when I was an unimpressive bundle of mediocrity with a lack-luster testimony. I could not explain why as a Christian I could successfully make the climb to the very heights of the mountaintop, and yet plunge in a matter of moments so helplessly to the rock-strewn valley below. I often found myself wondering when (or if) I would ever have "hinds feet in high places" (2 Samuel 22:34).

Most of my life was overshadowed with shame, because I was not living more like Jesus. I seemed powerless to conduct my life with consistency and confidence. I longed to be stable and solid in my walk with God. I felt like every time I failed to meet my personal standard of Christian perfection, I had failed God, and He could not approve of me, much less use me for His purposes.

One Sunday I heard my pastor say, "People don’t see things as they really are. They see things as they are." His statement captured my imagination, and I felt a flame of hope ignite in my heart. Maybe, just maybe, I was seeing life from the wrong perspective.

I conjured up my personal description of the perfect Christian when I was very young. Maybe the walk with God was far more practical and less complicated than the demands I had set on myself. Maybe I could change how I was seeing life by changing me. All I needed to know was how to change my perception of myself, of God and of my definition of a real Christian.

Then I saw it. I could make a decision. I could decide to take God at His Word. I could decide to align myself with the written Word of God. I could decide that what He said was just as much for me as it was for anyone else. I could decide that when the negative thoughts rose up in my mind, I could say, "No. That is not true. This is what God says."

Living according to the Word has been uncomfortable at best, since my life was planted so solidly in negative thoughts and beliefs. It has been hard at times to recognize the lie, then to find the Truth and hold tenaciously to it. But it is changing me. Occasionally, the change is huge and immediate; more often, changes are small and require effort and focus. But the changes continue to come.

I have seen remarkable changes in my attitudes, words, hopes and my interactions with people in a variety of situations. I am celebrating because I am finally rid of my ridiculous list of demands for the "perfect Christian." Only the Truth could have freed me from that thing! It is thrilling to walk into a new day with anticipation and peace.

One of my friends recently stopped me, "You are GLOWING! Do you have someone ‘new’ in your life?" My response was immediate. "Yes! It’s me!"

Change is yours simply by making a decision. Listen for the lies that hound your thoughts, then go to the Bible and find the Truth about that issue. Decide to hold on to the Truth no matter what you see or how you feel. Speak it out loud every opportunity you get. If your grasp on the Truth slips, and the lie gets a moment of your day, don’t despair. Simply turn around (repent), forgive yourself (most of us forget to do that), grab hold of the Truth and run with it into your next moment. As you exercise the decision, it will be easier and easier to recognize the lies and hold solidly to the Truth. It is a daily experience. Your life won’t be perfect, but you will begin to encounter exhilarating change.

As you decide to agree with His Truth, you will see the power of the Gospel begin to rise in your life. You will find yourself becoming refreshment to those you encounter and to yourself as well. Your life will become a testimony to the love of the Living God, to the power of the Holy Spirit, and it will be a reflection of the life of Jesus.

Make the decision. Make it now. Make it a minute from now. Make the decision later today, and again tomorrow until the decision to adhere to His Truth becomes a way of life for you. The decision opens the door to being aware that you possess the priceless treasures of the kingdom -- righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. Actively take charge of your thinking and decide to align with His Living Word.

"Oh, that we might know the LORD! Let us press on to know him! Then he will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring" (Hosea 6:3).

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