It's Just Too Much Fun!
By Gail Casteen

I decided that I was going to give my tithe AND some offerings even if it meant I couldn't pay my rent! (That was always my biggest concern). This time though, something big was stirring in my heart about abandoning all my fears regarding giving.

How would I know it could be so much fun!?! It seemed more like an obligation… a necessary action… a must-do kind of thing. After all, the Bible says you HAVE to give. Of course I don't HAVE to give, but if I want God's favor and blessing, I have to give...

…or so I thought.

When I was a little kid trotting off to Sunday School with my parents, I remember my younger sister and I were given a dime to put in the envelope every week. As we got older, it became a quarter, then a dollar… back then, that was a LOT of money. I knew we had to do it because "God says so."

I was always told, "It is better to give than to receive." I think it would have helped if my folks could have pointed out the fact that we WERE receiving… After all, Dad was the church janitor. It was his full time job (he had 3 or 4 side jobs.) But we benefited directly from the gifts given each week. We had a car… it was old but it got us from point A to point B most of the time. When it didn't, it wasn't such a big deal. We could just ride our bikes or walk… after all it was a tiny town.

We had a house… sure it was old, the floorboards were uneven and they creaked a lot. It was heated with space heaters… cold air came in from the cracks in the floor as well as through the poor fitting windows and doors. But there was always plastic to put on the screens in the winter and fans for the summer. Sure there were mice and bugs. We just got rid of them as best we could when they showed up. Besides… there were some great climbing trees and lots of "wild animals" … squirrels, 'possums, and an occasional garden snake or two. It wasn't so bad.

We had nice clothes. No, they weren't store bought, but they were OK. Mom was a terrific seamstress and could whip up more clothes in a week than most people could in a month. Every year, my younger sister and I would earn our way to church camp. Mom always made a whole new summer wardrobe for us to wear when we went. We had an automatic washing machine, which was really cool in light of the fact that we had an old wringer washer that worked just fine. It was just that the new automatic washer with the spin cycle made my mom so happy. So that was groovy.

She made bread and noodles by hand. And the pies… she could cook (and bake) up a storm. There was always plenty of food in the fridge and the pantry. We were never hungry… unless we elected to be, and that was our problem.

So how much does a person have to receive before they recognize it as receiving and as a blessing? It took me a LONG time. I kept giving… maybe not always 10%. There have been times that an adult I was in a situation where I couldn't even afford to purchase light bulbs. There were times that we had no heat, no water and no electricity. Once we had a house for a while, but we went into foreclosure and lost it. When friends brought bags of groceries, I was ashamed instead of thankful. I knew it was a God thing that they thought of us. What was wrong with us that we couldn't support ourselves?

Then the unthinkable happened. My marriage fell apart, and I had two young children to support. With finances having been so tough anyway, there was virtually nothing available for starting over again. But friends took us in, fed us and housed us until I could get work. Even though my family lived halfway across the country, they saw to it that I had money in my pocket for gasoline, insurance and for helping our friends offset some of the cost of housing us. Still I was miserable because I wasn't taking care of my children and myself…. I felt I was far too dependent on others.

If only I'd learned to see the blessing of God… I would have seen Him furnishing my apartment when we found one… sure it was with other people's throw away stuff, but I didn't have to sleep on the floor any longer, and there was a table for dining and homework. I would have seen Him paying my bills when someone in the church would anonymously pay my electric bill for a month. I would have realized that every month when the rent was paid on time that I was receiving His blessing. When people gave us clothing and the church gave us Thanksgiving food and Christmas gifts, He was blessing us.

I gave… sometimes. I HAD to give. It was required. I was sporadic about it and sometimes I was so fearful that I wouldn't be able to pay my rent that I would skip a month of tithing intending to pay it back later… Of course, that never happened.

What bothered me the most about giving was the fact that when I did give, I did it out of obligation and certainly not with a cheerful heart. In my head I knew God was taking care of us. From the time we went out on our own, our rent was paid on time every month without fail. We had food, electricity, water and a car that worked (well, most of the time.) Is that God or what?

Then it happened. I decided that I was going to give my tithe AND some offerings even if it meant I couldn't pay my rent! (That was always my biggest concern). This time though, something big was stirring in my heart about abandoning all my fears regarding giving. I had a friend to whom I held myself accountable. Every time I got a paycheck I called her if I wavered at all about fulfilling my promise to do this. I don't have to call her any more. I can't wait to get paid! This has become almost like a game between God and I. I'm having the time of my life.

I am keeping track of the score in a little book. So far, He's ahead, but I am going to keep trying. However, how am I ever going to pass Him up on the gift of a cheerful heart? I cannot begin to describe how good it is to give with a cheerful heart. I remember the years of dread and the sense of obligation I felt when it came to giving. How did I EVER live like that? There is something to this giving thing. Even when I think I am "low on dough" and God prompts me to give, I get that money out as fast as I possibly can! He always beats me to the punch. The gifts come back to us in many forms and because they are from Him, we are continually being enriched.

My heart's desire for years has been to have a home of my own for my children and I. I can honestly say that if I have to stay in the apartment forever, I will do so gladly, as long as I can keep giving. It's just too much fun!

cbn