THE DEATH OF ROMANCE
[An excerpt from my wedding address to my son Eric and his bride Angie.]

1 John 4:7-11
7 Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

"You have now reached the time when your romance must die. In fact, it is necessary for romance to die in order that love
may live and grow. Think of it this way: Your wedding marks the day when you plant the seed of romance. Romance is important, but it is not love itself; it is the seed of love--the seed of married love.

"Romance is a collection of pleasant emotions that come naturally with the anticipation of spending life together with the one you love. It is healthy and natural for you to have visions about a house in the suburbs, cuddly babies, and walks in the autumn woods with your perfectly lovable children skipping through the leaves.

"Yes, those times do indeed come--but they are mostly unplanned. And the moment will come when the pleasant emotions of romance are scattered by the winds of reality: burdensome car payments, orthodontist bills, sick babies wailing in the night, children fighting on the lawn, and quarrels between the two of you. Then that towering flame of romance will dwindle--and sometimes even appear to be gone. The one you say you love has become unlovely. For a fleeting moment you allow the thought to cross your mind, 'Do I really love him--Do I really love her--anymore? Is our
love gone?'

"Don't you believe it! It is at that moment when romance finally germinates into genuine love and begins to grow. On those days when it seems that nothing is left of your relationship but commitment, that is when God can teach you the great lesson that few people seem to understand: Love is not an emotion; it is an act of the will. You are not declaring to everyone present today that you are 'in love,' but that you are now making a willful commitment 'to love.'

"Remember, your marriage can never be threatened by the loss of love, only by the loss of your personal commitment to love." --Dean Ohlman

DESTINATION POINTS

* Have I fallen for the myth that love is an emotion?
* If I really believed love is an act of the will and not a state of mind, how would my relationships be different?
* How is the love God expects me to have for my spouse any different from the love He wants me to have for anyone else?

LINKS:
Love's Time Line
http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp8m2/8m2066.html

Love: As Seen On TV
http://www.christianitytoday.com/cl/2003/001/1.38.html

What Is Real Love?
http://www.discoveryseries.org/q0714

How Can I Know Who To Marry?
http://www.discoveryseries.org/q0803

bottom line: Romance is merely the spark of love's flame.

soul journey