The Big, Bad Dinosaur
John Fischer

Chandler, my six-year-old son, had a bad dream last night. He dreamed I was a “big, hungry, giant, bad dinosaur.” When I asked him what I was doing in his dream he said with a smile that didn't make me feel any better about this, “You were eating me!”

Except for the alarming nature of the idea itself, he didn't give me any reason to be concerned. It wasn't something that woke him up in the middle of the night and had him running to his mother for comfort. He didn't appear to lose any sleep over it, and the telling of it was more amusing to him than anything.

This is all pretty much in keeping with what I've experienced with my two older children, who, when I would get really mad at them, would not be able to keep themselves from laughing. It must be something about me when I get really upset that makes me appear irresistibly funny. (My wife says it's the veins that pop out on my forehead when my face turns red.) Of course I take this as lack of respect, which makes me even madder, and apparently, that much funnier. And when I turn to my wife for help, I usually get the same treatment. She bursts out laughing too. I'm convinced they are in cahoots over this.

Well, for years I assumed this was a conspiracy to undermine my authority. What happened to the good old days when Dad was feared and respected? When we tiptoed around him like being on a fault line that could erupt any minute and shake our world to bits?

Is that what authority is -- a raging bull (or in this case… dinosaur)? Well I am beginning to realize it isn't. Authority has a lot more to do with being responsible than it does with being angry or demanding respect. Authority is not something you bull your way into; it's something you earn. And when you have it, you don't have to demand it. Jesus had it -- had the ultimate authority of God Himself -- and He never lorded over anyone. In fact, He used His authority to serve. He needed nothing, so He could give everything He had.

Not that children shouldn't learn to respect their parents. Honoring your father and mother is one of the Ten Commandments. It's just that you don't force respect. That only makes you look like a big bad dinosaur, and if those you are trying to impress don't have the luxury of laughing in your face, you can bet they are laughing behind your back.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

PDL